We’ve all been in situations where we are inately aware of somebody’s shallowness. Their lack of interest in anything but themselves. The “friends” who love to talk about themselves but never offer an ear to anybody else. The leaders of the pack. The one’s who are always right. The one’s who don’t share anything with you. The people who become uncomfortable with anything deeper than small talk.
I’ve never been the friend that people wished I was, I don’t think. I enjoy my space and alone time far too much to be a friend that you’d see a few times a week. That’s just not me, and unfortunitely that’s the kind of friend most people want. The kind that is always around. I think having a good heart and a concern for people is being a good friend, whether you’re always physically around or not. I find genuinely caring about people’s lives has become almost a bad habit, though. Asking people questions who have no interest in sharing with you is disheartening after you start to notice that people are confused by the very nature of your questions. Isn’t it normal to want to know about people’s lives? Sorry… I don’t -really- care about that movie you saw last week, but I do care about how your days are going, how you’re feeling about life lately. How your relationships are going and what you think about the future. I can’t help but get deep and I think that scares a lot of people away because of it’s intense nature. A lot of people are used to being social with people who don’t get too deep as a way to escape their lives. I’m sure some people are thinking… you really think I wan’t to talk about this right now?… but I’ll admit it, I’m almost terrible at small talk. I’m sure I come off nosy but I am really just curiously caring, at least those are the intentions behind my actions.
Here are some tips to spot a bad friend. Some of these are situational of course, but it’s a good reminder of what you don’t deserve.
-they don’t share anything with you and you are forever stuck in small-talk-land
-they never ask you anything about your life
-they put you down infront of other people to make themselves look good
-they judge you and your experiences
-they expect you to be there for them but they have no interest in being there for you
-they talk about you behind your back
-ignore you when you’re in a group of people
-self centered ; only want to talk about themselves and have you be interested in every detail of their life, never reciprocating; the conversation is completely one sided
-opportunists that use you for your money, generosity, or somebody just to keep around as another “fan” of theirs, and using you to get into social situations
-clingy friends, that won’t leave you alone, plan your every move with them and get insanely jealous when you have other people you like to spend your time with – nobody likes to be suffocated
-people that do ask you every detail about your life, but only want to know to use it against you for gossip
-if you’re a girl… guy friends that pretend to be your friend to get into your pants… that’s a bad friend.
-the friends who join in on other people poking fun at you, so they feel included. (because making fun of people is SO cool, right?)
When people are mean spirited, there’s always a reason for it. Sometimes it may not even reflect on you and it’s completely their own issue they’re trying to project onto you. It’s unfortunate but if you’re blessed enough to have a few good friends you can always count on, that’s winning in my eyes!!
People will always disappoint you, so be picky. Only give your heart to people you feel deserve it, the rest don’t care.